Let’s just set aside writing techniques, proper grammar, sentence structure and all that for now, okay? Because I suck at that and I know it. If one were to judge whether someone is a writer based just on that, I would fail. I am most certain of that.
I always remember keeping a journal. I still have some of them, which I’m sure would make for some interesting and cringe worthy reading one night, if I ever feel up to it. When I was in high school, I wrote articles for our school paper, and later one of my teachers took an interest in my writing and mentored me to write more poetry and short fiction. Some of them got published in local poetry journals. I wanted to be a writer, but I never had the self confidence to pursue it as a career.
But that doesn’t mean that I stopped writing for personal reasons. For me, writing feels more like a need rather than something I choose to do when I have the time. It’s like this – I have to write everyday, just like I have to have coffee every morning to get started. I could certainly live without it, but I love the feel, smell and taste of it, and I would be damn cranky without it. That sounds so fucking cheesy, but it’s true. Most of my writing doesn’t ever see the light of day, and that’s a good thing, trust me. Sometimes, if I think my words are something worth sharing, I will post them here on this blog, or my other rl blog (I don’t blog there as often though).
One of my lifelong challenges is sharing my words with the world. I feel that my best work is when I write honestly about my personal life and experiences in a way that others can relate to. But this also makes me feel incredibly vulnerable and I don’t like it. I know that seems like a contradiction because I have shared a lot of personal things here on this blog. I suppose the thin veil of anonymity has provided me with a certain amount of safety to do that, which has been a good thing for my self-confidence. And perhaps it has also led me to feeling more comfortable with sharing more about my world outside of Second Life.
I’m rambling, I know…which reminds me why I like having a blog. I can ramble on about whatever I want without any hard rules, besides my own.
I guess what I am saying is whether I am a blogger, a writer, or just a person who loves to write, shouldn’t really matter, should it? What I think matters is that on the occasion when I do write something meaningful and publish it here, you can be sure that it is a genuine reflection of me – that includes the fluff and light hearted posts too. I’m an introverted person by nature, but when I choose to open up and share of myself, I do it in the way that comes most natural to me – in writing.
If you made it through this cheesy, self-indulgent blog post, thanks for reading. I really do appreciate it.